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My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.

Frank Carson

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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Single
Pigeon
Lines
Pigeons
Funny
Germans
War
Fought
Father
Destroyed
World
Communication
Line
Humor
Handedly

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I said to the waitress, There's a fly swimming in my soup. She said: You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle.
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Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.
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A man walks into a pet shop and says: Give me a wasp. The shopkeeper replies: We don't sell wasps. He says: There's one in the window.
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I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: It takes four hours. I asked why and he said: It keeps turning off the gas.
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Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
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Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
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There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous.
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My wife went into the butchers and said: You've a sheep's head in your window. The butcher said: That's a mirror.
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I've been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful day yesterday was.
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I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside made around the corner.
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A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
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I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.
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Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: Have a drink on me. The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.
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I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: Have you a good memory for faces? I asked why and she said: Because there isn't a mirror up there.
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My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.
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Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!
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I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
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I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.
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Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap.
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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
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