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My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.

Frank Carson

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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Humor
Handedly
Single
Pigeon
Lines
Pigeons
Funny
Germans
War
Fought
Father
Destroyed
World
Communication
Line

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Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
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America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.
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People in Northern Ireland vote for their church, they don't vote with their heads it is ridiculous.
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Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.
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I've been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful day yesterday was.
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Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: Have a drink on me. The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.
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My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.
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A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
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I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside made around the corner.
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My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.
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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
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I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.
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Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap.
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There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous.
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