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My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.

Frank Carson

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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
World
Communication
Line
Humor
Handedly
Single
Pigeon
Lines
Pigeons
Funny
Germans
War
Fought
Father
Destroyed

More quotes by Frank Carson

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A man says to his mate: My wife is a twin. His mate says, How do you tell them apart? The man says: Her brother has a beard.
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I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: Have you a good memory for faces? I asked why and she said: Because there isn't a mirror up there.
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People in Northern Ireland vote for their church, they don't vote with their heads it is ridiculous.
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Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: Have a drink on me. The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.
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Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!
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A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: What have you brought? He said: I brought a pair of knickers. They asked: What has that got to do with Christmas? He said They're Carol's.
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I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.
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I've been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful day yesterday was.
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My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.
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Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
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I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.
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What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
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I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: It takes four hours. I asked why and he said: It keeps turning off the gas.
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There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: You can't eat your own food in here. So they swapped sandwiches.
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The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
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I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.
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My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.
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