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My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.

Frank Carson

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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Father
Destroyed
World
Communication
Line
Humor
Handedly
Single
Pigeon
Lines
Pigeons
Funny
Germans
War
Fought

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A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
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I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
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Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap.
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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
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I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
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Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.
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A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
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I've been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful day yesterday was.
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My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.
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People in Northern Ireland vote for their church, they don't vote with their heads it is ridiculous.
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I said to the waitress, There's a fly swimming in my soup. She said: You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle.
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My wife went into the butchers and said: You've a sheep's head in your window. The butcher said: That's a mirror.
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I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.
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Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
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I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: We are two hours late Mr Carson. When I asked why, she said: The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it.
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There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.
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Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: Have a drink on me. The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.
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I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.
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What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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