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My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.

Frank Carson

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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Funny
Germans
War
Fought
Father
Destroyed
World
Communication
Line
Humor
Handedly
Single
Pigeon
Lines
Pigeons

More quotes by Frank Carson

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: What have you brought? He said: I brought a pair of knickers. They asked: What has that got to do with Christmas? He said They're Carol's.
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America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.
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Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
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I said to the waitress, There's a fly swimming in my soup. She said: You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle.
Frank Carson
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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
Frank Carson
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Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.
Frank Carson
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There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: You can't eat your own food in here. So they swapped sandwiches.
Frank Carson
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Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: Have a drink on me. The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.
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My wife went into the butchers and said: You've a sheep's head in your window. The butcher said: That's a mirror.
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I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.
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Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!
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Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?
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I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.
Frank Carson
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The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
Frank Carson
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I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
Frank Carson
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I've been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful day yesterday was.
Frank Carson
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I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
Frank Carson
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A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
Frank Carson
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My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.
Frank Carson
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This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.
Frank Carson