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Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: Have a drink on me. The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.
Frank Carson
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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Something
Bags
Pockets
Handler
Frank
Luggage
Later
Slipped
Drink
Airport
Humor
Airports
Funny
Pocket
Found
Tea
More quotes by Frank Carson
Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
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My wife went into the butchers and said: You've a sheep's head in your window. The butcher said: That's a mirror.
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A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
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My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.
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I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: Have you a good memory for faces? I asked why and she said: Because there isn't a mirror up there.
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A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: What have you brought? He said: I brought a pair of knickers. They asked: What has that got to do with Christmas? He said They're Carol's.
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There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.
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I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: We are two hours late Mr Carson. When I asked why, she said: The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it.
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America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.
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I said to the waitress, There's a fly swimming in my soup. She said: You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle.
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I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside made around the corner.
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My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.
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This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.
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A man says to his mate: My wife is a twin. His mate says, How do you tell them apart? The man says: Her brother has a beard.
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Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
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I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
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The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
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I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: It takes four hours. I asked why and he said: It keeps turning off the gas.
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Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.
Frank Carson
