Quote

Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: Have a drink on me. The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.

Frank Carson

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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Later
Slipped
Drink
Airport
Humor
Airports
Funny
Pocket
Found
Tea
Something
Bags
Pockets
Handler
Frank
Luggage

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There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.
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I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
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I said to the waitress, There's a fly swimming in my soup. She said: You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle.
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I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.
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A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
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My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.
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What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: It takes four hours. I asked why and he said: It keeps turning off the gas.
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Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
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I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside made around the corner.
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I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: Have you a good memory for faces? I asked why and she said: Because there isn't a mirror up there.
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A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
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I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
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My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.
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My wife went into the butchers and said: You've a sheep's head in your window. The butcher said: That's a mirror.
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Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.
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A man says to his mate: My wife is a twin. His mate says, How do you tell them apart? The man says: Her brother has a beard.
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There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: You can't eat your own food in here. So they swapped sandwiches.
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I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.
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