Quote

A man walks into a pet shop and says: Give me a wasp. The shopkeeper replies: We don't sell wasps. He says: There's one in the window.

Frank Carson

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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Walks
Replies
Says
Shop
Funny
Pet
Give
Shops
Giving
Sell
Shopkeeper
Men
Sells
Wasp
Window
Shopkeepers
Humor
Wasps

More quotes by Frank Carson

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People in Northern Ireland vote for their church, they don't vote with their heads it is ridiculous.
Frank Carson
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There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous.
Frank Carson
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I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
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This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.
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My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.
Frank Carson
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Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.
Frank Carson
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A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
Frank Carson
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My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.
Frank Carson
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I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: We are two hours late Mr Carson. When I asked why, she said: The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it.
Frank Carson
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I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: Have you a good memory for faces? I asked why and she said: Because there isn't a mirror up there.
Frank Carson
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What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Frank Carson
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I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
Frank Carson
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There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: You can't eat your own food in here. So they swapped sandwiches.
Frank Carson
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Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!
Frank Carson
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Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: Have a drink on me. The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.
Frank Carson
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Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap.
Frank Carson
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There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.
Frank Carson
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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
Frank Carson
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Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
Frank Carson
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Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.
Frank Carson