Quote

A man walks into a pet shop and says: Give me a wasp. The shopkeeper replies: We don't sell wasps. He says: There's one in the window.

Frank Carson

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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Humor
Wasps
Walks
Replies
Says
Shop
Funny
Pet
Give
Shops
Giving
Sell
Shopkeeper
Men
Sells
Wasp
Window
Shopkeepers

More quotes by Frank Carson

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I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: We are two hours late Mr Carson. When I asked why, she said: The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it.
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Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
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This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.
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I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside made around the corner.
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I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
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My wife went into the butchers and said: You've a sheep's head in your window. The butcher said: That's a mirror.
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I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: It takes four hours. I asked why and he said: It keeps turning off the gas.
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A man says to his mate: My wife is a twin. His mate says, How do you tell them apart? The man says: Her brother has a beard.
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Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!
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Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.
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A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
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Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?
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What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.
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There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: You can't eat your own food in here. So they swapped sandwiches.
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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
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I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.
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Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
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Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap.
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The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
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