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There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.

Frank Carson

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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Went
Space
Funny
Burnt
Night
Irish
Didn
Program
Sun
Humor

More quotes by Frank Carson

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America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.
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I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: It takes four hours. I asked why and he said: It keeps turning off the gas.
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I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: Have you a good memory for faces? I asked why and she said: Because there isn't a mirror up there.
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There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous.
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A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
Frank Carson
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The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
Frank Carson
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My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.
Frank Carson
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I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: We are two hours late Mr Carson. When I asked why, she said: The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it.
Frank Carson
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Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.
Frank Carson
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I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.
Frank Carson
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Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
Frank Carson
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I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.
Frank Carson
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Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap.
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My wife went into the butchers and said: You've a sheep's head in your window. The butcher said: That's a mirror.
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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: What have you brought? He said: I brought a pair of knickers. They asked: What has that got to do with Christmas? He said They're Carol's.
Frank Carson
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Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.
Frank Carson
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This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.
Frank Carson
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What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Frank Carson
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I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
Frank Carson
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A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
Frank Carson