Quote

I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.

Frank Carson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Helping
Really
Homosexual
Busy
Help

More quotes by Frank Carson

Image
There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous.
Frank Carson
Image
A man walks into a pet shop and says: Give me a wasp. The shopkeeper replies: We don't sell wasps. He says: There's one in the window.
Frank Carson
Image
Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?
Frank Carson
Image
My wife went into the butchers and said: You've a sheep's head in your window. The butcher said: That's a mirror.
Frank Carson
Image
There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.
Frank Carson
Image
I've been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful day yesterday was.
Frank Carson
Image
A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
Frank Carson
Image
There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: You can't eat your own food in here. So they swapped sandwiches.
Frank Carson
Image
People in Northern Ireland vote for their church, they don't vote with their heads it is ridiculous.
Frank Carson
Image
America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.
Frank Carson
Image
I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.
Frank Carson
Image
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: What have you brought? He said: I brought a pair of knickers. They asked: What has that got to do with Christmas? He said They're Carol's.
Frank Carson
Image
A man says to his mate: My wife is a twin. His mate says, How do you tell them apart? The man says: Her brother has a beard.
Frank Carson
Image
Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
Frank Carson
Image
Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!
Frank Carson
Image
What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Frank Carson
Image
A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
Frank Carson
Image
This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.
Frank Carson
Image
I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
Frank Carson
Image
My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.
Frank Carson