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Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
Frank Carson
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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Boots
Irishman
Car
Irishmen
Humor
Reversed
Heard
Boot
Funny
Sale
Engine
Engines
Sold
More quotes by Frank Carson
I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
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Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!
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There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: You can't eat your own food in here. So they swapped sandwiches.
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I said to the waitress, There's a fly swimming in my soup. She said: You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle.
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The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
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I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: Have you a good memory for faces? I asked why and she said: Because there isn't a mirror up there.
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A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
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There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous.
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What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.
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Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.
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Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
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My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.
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I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: It takes four hours. I asked why and he said: It keeps turning off the gas.
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I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
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I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.
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Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap.
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A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
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My wife went into the butchers and said: You've a sheep's head in your window. The butcher said: That's a mirror.
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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
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