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Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
Frank Carson
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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Sold
Boots
Irishman
Car
Irishmen
Humor
Reversed
Heard
Boot
Funny
Sale
Engine
Engines
More quotes by Frank Carson
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: What have you brought? He said: I brought a pair of knickers. They asked: What has that got to do with Christmas? He said They're Carol's.
Frank Carson
There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.
Frank Carson
Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.
Frank Carson
Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.
Frank Carson
There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: You can't eat your own food in here. So they swapped sandwiches.
Frank Carson
My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.
Frank Carson
Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?
Frank Carson
America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.
Frank Carson
I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.
Frank Carson
I've been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful day yesterday was.
Frank Carson
I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: It takes four hours. I asked why and he said: It keeps turning off the gas.
Frank Carson
Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap.
Frank Carson
This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.
Frank Carson
A man walks into a pet shop and says: Give me a wasp. The shopkeeper replies: We don't sell wasps. He says: There's one in the window.
Frank Carson
A man says to his mate: My wife is a twin. His mate says, How do you tell them apart? The man says: Her brother has a beard.
Frank Carson
I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.
Frank Carson
I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
Frank Carson
I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside made around the corner.
Frank Carson
I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
Frank Carson
I said to the waitress, There's a fly swimming in my soup. She said: You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle.
Frank Carson
