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People in Northern Ireland vote for their church, they don't vote with their heads it is ridiculous.
Frank Carson
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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Church
People
Northern
Ireland
Heads
Ridiculous
Vote
More quotes by Frank Carson
The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
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America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.
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Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap.
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Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: Have a drink on me. The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.
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Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
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I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
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I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.
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I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside made around the corner.
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I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.
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There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.
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A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
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I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: Have you a good memory for faces? I asked why and she said: Because there isn't a mirror up there.
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I said to the waitress, There's a fly swimming in my soup. She said: You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle.
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What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.
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A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
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My wife went into the butchers and said: You've a sheep's head in your window. The butcher said: That's a mirror.
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I've been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful day yesterday was.
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Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.
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