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People in Northern Ireland vote for their church, they don't vote with their heads it is ridiculous.

Frank Carson

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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Northern
Ireland
Heads
Ridiculous
Vote
Church
People

More quotes by Frank Carson

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There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.
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My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.
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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: What have you brought? He said: I brought a pair of knickers. They asked: What has that got to do with Christmas? He said They're Carol's.
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Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!
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I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: It takes four hours. I asked why and he said: It keeps turning off the gas.
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This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.
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Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?
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A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
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My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.
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A man says to his mate: My wife is a twin. His mate says, How do you tell them apart? The man says: Her brother has a beard.
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I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.
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Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
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I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
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I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: Have you a good memory for faces? I asked why and she said: Because there isn't a mirror up there.
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A man walks into a pet shop and says: Give me a wasp. The shopkeeper replies: We don't sell wasps. He says: There's one in the window.
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I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: We are two hours late Mr Carson. When I asked why, she said: The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it.
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I've been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful day yesterday was.
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Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.
Frank Carson
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There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous.
Frank Carson
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A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
Frank Carson