Quote

America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.

Frank Carson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Senators
Million
Members
Millions
America
People

More quotes by Frank Carson

Image
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: What have you brought? He said: I brought a pair of knickers. They asked: What has that got to do with Christmas? He said They're Carol's.
Frank Carson
Image
I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
Frank Carson
Image
This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.
Frank Carson
Image
Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.
Frank Carson
Image
I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.
Frank Carson
Image
I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
Frank Carson
Image
What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Frank Carson
Image
I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: It takes four hours. I asked why and he said: It keeps turning off the gas.
Frank Carson
Image
I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: We are two hours late Mr Carson. When I asked why, she said: The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it.
Frank Carson
Image
Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: Have a drink on me. The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.
Frank Carson
Image
My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.
Frank Carson
Image
I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: Have you a good memory for faces? I asked why and she said: Because there isn't a mirror up there.
Frank Carson
Image
I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.
Frank Carson
Image
I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside made around the corner.
Frank Carson
Image
Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
Frank Carson
Image
People in Northern Ireland vote for their church, they don't vote with their heads it is ridiculous.
Frank Carson
Image
Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.
Frank Carson
Image
A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
Frank Carson
Image
My wife went into the butchers and said: You've a sheep's head in your window. The butcher said: That's a mirror.
Frank Carson
Image
There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.
Frank Carson