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Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!

Frank Carson

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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Higgins
Petrol
Alex
Threw
Drank
Bomb
Bombs
Someone

More quotes by Frank Carson

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A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
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I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside made around the corner.
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My wife went into the butchers and said: You've a sheep's head in your window. The butcher said: That's a mirror.
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This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.
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Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
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A man says to his mate: My wife is a twin. His mate says, How do you tell them apart? The man says: Her brother has a beard.
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I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: It takes four hours. I asked why and he said: It keeps turning off the gas.
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I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: Have you a good memory for faces? I asked why and she said: Because there isn't a mirror up there.
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A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
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A man walks into a pet shop and says: Give me a wasp. The shopkeeper replies: We don't sell wasps. He says: There's one in the window.
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Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
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Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: Have a drink on me. The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.
Frank Carson
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I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
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There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: You can't eat your own food in here. So they swapped sandwiches.
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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
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The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
Frank Carson
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I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.
Frank Carson
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What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Frank Carson
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I said to the waitress, There's a fly swimming in my soup. She said: You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle.
Frank Carson
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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: What have you brought? He said: I brought a pair of knickers. They asked: What has that got to do with Christmas? He said They're Carol's.
Frank Carson