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Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!
Frank Carson
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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Higgins
Petrol
Alex
Threw
Drank
Bomb
Bombs
Someone
More quotes by Frank Carson
I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
Frank Carson
America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.
Frank Carson
A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
Frank Carson
I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
Frank Carson
Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.
Frank Carson
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: What have you brought? He said: I brought a pair of knickers. They asked: What has that got to do with Christmas? He said They're Carol's.
Frank Carson
What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Frank Carson
I said to the waitress, There's a fly swimming in my soup. She said: You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle.
Frank Carson
Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?
Frank Carson
People in Northern Ireland vote for their church, they don't vote with their heads it is ridiculous.
Frank Carson
Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.
Frank Carson
The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
Frank Carson
Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
Frank Carson
I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.
Frank Carson
There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous.
Frank Carson
I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.
Frank Carson
There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.
Frank Carson
I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside made around the corner.
Frank Carson
I've been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful day yesterday was.
Frank Carson
I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
Frank Carson