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What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Frank Carson

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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Humor
Differences
Wife
Funny
Negotiate
Terrorist
Difference

More quotes by Frank Carson

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Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!
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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
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Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?
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Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
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Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap.
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My wife went into the butchers and said: You've a sheep's head in your window. The butcher said: That's a mirror.
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This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.
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There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.
Frank Carson
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America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.
Frank Carson
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My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.
Frank Carson
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Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.
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I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.
Frank Carson
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I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
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I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.
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My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.
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People in Northern Ireland vote for their church, they don't vote with their heads it is ridiculous.
Frank Carson
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Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: Have a drink on me. The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.
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I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: It takes four hours. I asked why and he said: It keeps turning off the gas.
Frank Carson
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There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous.
Frank Carson
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The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
Frank Carson