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I wish that real estate were cheaper and clothes were more expensive.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Cheaper
Expensive
Clothes
Wish
Real
Estate

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful.
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Smoking is, if not my life, then at least my hobby. I love to smoke. Smoking is fun. Smoking is cool. Smoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult.
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There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.
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I'm not a nervous person. I'm not afraid to be on TV. I'm only afraid when I write. When I'm at my desk I feel like most people would feel if they went on TV.
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The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
Fran Lebowitz
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Think before you speak. Read before you think.
Fran Lebowitz
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While clothes with pictures and/or writing on them are not entirely an invention of the modern age, they are an unpleasant indication of the general state of things. ... I mean, be realistic. If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?
Fran Lebowitz
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Most writers write too much. I have the exact opposite problem. I feel I could write almost anything in a paragraph. I have a natural ability to condense, and so I often think, Are you kidding me? Five thousand words? How am I gonna make 5,000 words out of that?
Fran Lebowitz
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
Fran Lebowitz
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If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you've imagined. Venice is - Venice is better.
Fran Lebowitz
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If people don't hold grudges, it means they just don't care what people do.
Fran Lebowitz
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Los Angeles is a large city-like area surrounding the Beverly Hills Hotel.
Fran Lebowitz
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Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number.
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Communism requires of its adherents that they arise early and participate in a strenuous round of calisthenics. To someone who wishes that cigarettes came already lit the thought of such exertion at an hour when decent people are just nodding off is thoroughly abhorrent.
Fran Lebowitz
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A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.
Fran Lebowitz
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
Fran Lebowitz
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I had to go on TV with the president of the Catholic League, which is not an official organization at all, just a lot of Catholics, or maybe it's just this guy. He demanded to de-fund art completely and argued that taxpayers should not pay for it. I said people who represent the Catholic Church shouldn't talk about taxes.
Fran Lebowitz
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I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I'm lazier than most. I don't want to brag, but I'm the laziest person I have ever known.
Fran Lebowitz
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When I was young, boys didn't type.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one.
Fran Lebowitz