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I wish that real estate were cheaper and clothes were more expensive.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Estate
Cheaper
Expensive
Clothes
Wish
Real

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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Most writers write too much. I have the exact opposite problem. I feel I could write almost anything in a paragraph. I have a natural ability to condense, and so I often think, Are you kidding me? Five thousand words? How am I gonna make 5,000 words out of that?
Fran Lebowitz
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[On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your mother calls you.
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I always make a big effort to make a distinction between what is actually worse or what is just worse about not being 21. Of course, it's much worse not to be 21. This is a given. But there are things that are worse.
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Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn't make up yourself - a wise move at any age, but most especially at seventeen, when you are in the greatest danger of coming to annoying conclusions.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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Writing is so hard. Why would you be a writer if you weren't really good at it? If you could be anything else, why would you be a writer?
Fran Lebowitz
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I drove a cab. But all the girls I knew when I was young who had to work - there were rich girls - but the ones who had to work were waitresses. Because you could always get shifts in a restaurant.
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Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
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There's too much democracy in the culture, not enough in the society.
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Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
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If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Fran Lebowitz
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It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensive domestic cigars.
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I think one manifestation of integrity is holding a grudge. Saying no is a little different. Holding a grudge is the modern equivalent of having standards.
Fran Lebowitz
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Telling someone he looks healthy isn't a compliment -- it's a second opinion.
Fran Lebowitz
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When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.
Fran Lebowitz
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Spilling your guts is just exactly as charming as it sounds.
Fran Lebowitz
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I just write when fear overtakes me.
Fran Lebowitz
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My dream writing room would be the Imperial Library in Vienna.
Fran Lebowitz
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
Fran Lebowitz