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There are certain relationships I think I'm great at: I'm the world's greatest daughter. I'm a great relative. I believe I'm a great friend.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Certain
Great
Believe
Think
Relative
Thinking
Relationships
World
Daughter
Friend
Greatest

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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Children are much less annoying [than adults] and they never start trends.
Fran Lebowitz
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I'm very lazy, I hate to work.
Fran Lebowitz
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Without these tourists, New York would be fantastic. I don't want them to come. Stay home!
Fran Lebowitz
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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Whenever someone accuses someone of being a racist - which is rare, you have to admit, considering how much racism there is - there is an incredible outrage. I realized that we live in an environment that it seems to be worse to call someone a racist than to be one.
Fran Lebowitz
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Luckily when you drive a cab there are two things: You don't have a boss in the cab with you, and you are not facing the people that you are making money from.
Fran Lebowitz
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When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't crash. I was just afraid it was going to circle O'Hare for the rest of my life.
Fran Lebowitz
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In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
Fran Lebowitz
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To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.
Fran Lebowitz
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If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Fran Lebowitz
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The main symptom of falling in love is that you lose your intellectual prowess.
Fran Lebowitz
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I don't like to read nonfiction. To me, fact is something I can look up.
Fran Lebowitz
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
Fran Lebowitz
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
Fran Lebowitz
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Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I've ever encountered. It takes it out of you. It's very psychically wearing not to write - I mean if you're supposed to be writing.
Fran Lebowitz
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If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer -- not a book.
Fran Lebowitz
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I hate writing. I will do anything to avoid it. The only way I could write less was if I was dead.
Fran Lebowitz
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I, unfortunately, take the subway a lot. It's not my preference, but it is my lot in life.
Fran Lebowitz
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When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer.
Fran Lebowitz
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You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
Fran Lebowitz