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What I can't be is monogamous. That tends to upset people. I just don't like domestic life.
Fran Lebowitz
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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Life
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People
Monogamous
Domestic
Tends
Upset
More quotes by Fran Lebowitz
[On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your mother calls you.
Fran Lebowitz
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Fran Lebowitz
When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.
Fran Lebowitz
I woke up at five o'clock in the morning with the whole first paragraph in my head. Now, this just shows what a slothful person I am: I tried to go back to sleep.
Fran Lebowitz
The great thing about New Jersey is that it's close to New York.
Fran Lebowitz
Writers get exactly the right amount of fame: just enough to get a good table in a restaurant but not enough so that people are constantly interrupting you while you're eating dinner.
Fran Lebowitz
All style is personal - that's what distinguishes it from fashion.
Fran Lebowitz
Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.
Fran Lebowitz
Luckily when you drive a cab there are two things: You don't have a boss in the cab with you, and you are not facing the people that you are making money from.
Fran Lebowitz
I prefer dead writers because you don't run into them at parties.
Fran Lebowitz
I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use.
Fran Lebowitz
Money...buys privacy, silence. The less money you have, the noisier it is the thinner your walls, the closer your neighbors.... The first thing you notice when you step into the house or apartment of a rich person is how quiet it is.
Fran Lebowitz
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Fran Lebowitz
Breakfast cereals that come in the same colors as polyester leisure suits make oversleeping a virtue.
Fran Lebowitz
When Toni Morrison said 'write the book you want to read,' she didn't mean everybody.
Fran Lebowitz
In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate each other, but violence based on that hatred is really uncommon here.
Fran Lebowitz
New Yorkers, we've seen Donald Trump for, like, 30 years we know who he is. So he wasn't a surprise to me.
Fran Lebowitz
Japanese food is very pretty and undoubtedly a suitable cuisine in Japan, which is largely populated by people of below average size. Hostesses hell-bent on serving such food to occidentals would be well advised to supplement it with something more substantial and to keep in mind that almost everybody likes french fries.
Fran Lebowitz
I have friends, some of whom are spectacularly good writers, who really want someone to edit them. I don't register that impulse. It's like the impulse for wanting a dog.
Fran Lebowitz
I have the exact opposite problem of every writer I've ever met: Every writer I've ever met writes things that are too long, and they have to edit them down.
Fran Lebowitz
