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The great thing about New Jersey is that it's close to New York.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Great
Thing
Jersey
York
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I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.
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Nothing lasts. So it's my belief, yes, I know a lot of the things that we liked didn't last, but maybe things we don't like, they're also not going to last. There has been progress in my lifetime. There are certainly things that are better than when I was young, and there are things that are worse. New York City, it's worse. There's no question.
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I love being in love. I don't think anything compares with it, though I consider it very disruptive.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
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Once you go outside your natural audience, there are tons of people that don't like you.
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For the movie review columns, I always knew exactly what I was going to write about - the movies.
Fran Lebowitz
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I don't like the kind of country living where you have to help. I like country living where there is help.
Fran Lebowitz
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Any artist who has that quality of timelessness has that quality because they tell the truth.
Fran Lebowitz
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Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I've ever encountered.
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Children are much less annoying [than adults] and they never start trends.
Fran Lebowitz
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I drank my lifetime supply of alcohol and I took my lifetime supply of drugs between the ages of 15 and 19.
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Forcing people into a situation where they're supposed to adore each other is probably bad. But letting people get on and off the 6 train without stabbing each other, that's good.
Fran Lebowitz
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There's nothing like being old to be sure of everything.
Fran Lebowitz
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When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer.
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People who are well-known, famous people, I think, make very poor characters for fiction. They make good characters for gossip columns. But not for fiction.
Fran Lebowitz
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Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
Fran Lebowitz
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I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
Fran Lebowitz
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While clothes with pictures and/or writing on them are not entirely an invention of the modern age, they are an unpleasant indication of the general state of things. ... I mean, be realistic. If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?
Fran Lebowitz
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
Fran Lebowitz