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The great thing about New Jersey is that it's close to New York.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Jersey
York
Close
Great
Thing

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The first people who died of AIDS were artists. They were the most interesting people.
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
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I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
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I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.
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Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.
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Writing is so hard. Why would you be a writer if you weren't really good at it? If you could be anything else, why would you be a writer?
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Japanese food is very pretty and undoubtedly a suitable cuisine in Japan, which is largely populated by people of below average size. Hostesses hell-bent on serving such food to occidentals would be well advised to supplement it with something more substantial and to keep in mind that almost everybody likes french fries.
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Nothing lasts. So it's my belief, yes, I know a lot of the things that we liked didn't last, but maybe things we don't like, they're also not going to last. There has been progress in my lifetime. There are certainly things that are better than when I was young, and there are things that are worse. New York City, it's worse. There's no question.
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Children are much less annoying [than adults] and they never start trends.
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
Fran Lebowitz
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What I can't be is monogamous. That tends to upset people. I just don't like domestic life.
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My dream writing room would be the Imperial Library in Vienna.
Fran Lebowitz
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I hate academic mysteries. As soon as I come across the word 'don' and it's not someone's first name, I close the book.
Fran Lebowitz
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Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
Fran Lebowitz
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A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.
Fran Lebowitz
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I never would start writing before midnight and I would finish at, like, seven in the morning.
Fran Lebowitz
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Tourism as a number-one industry is a terrible, terrible idea for any city, especially New York. If you were going to turn a city, which is a place where people live, into a tourist attraction, you're going to have to make it a place that people who don't live here, like. So I object to living in a place for people who don't live here.
Fran Lebowitz
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Do not have your child's hair cut by a real hairdresser in a real hairdressing salon. He is, at this point, far too short to be exposed to contempt.
Fran Lebowitz
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I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked.
Fran Lebowitz
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
Fran Lebowitz