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I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of New York.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Like
Admissions
Admission
Director
Decide
Directors
York
Comes

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters.
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I drove a cab. But all the girls I knew when I was young who had to work - there were rich girls - but the ones who had to work were waitresses. Because you could always get shifts in a restaurant.
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In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate each other, but violence based on that hatred is really uncommon here.
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I wish that real estate were cheaper and clothes were more expensive.
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There is nothing more mine than my writing, nothing I'm more proprietary about.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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Middle class was defined by having certain values and only a certain amount of money. But this new middle class seems to have absolutely no values and an unlimited amount of money.
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I never wanted to have any extra money, if it meant having to have any extra work.
Fran Lebowitz
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Japanese food is very pretty and undoubtedly a suitable cuisine in Japan, which is largely populated by people of below average size. Hostesses hell-bent on serving such food to occidentals would be well advised to supplement it with something more substantial and to keep in mind that almost everybody likes french fries.
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If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
Fran Lebowitz
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Fran Lebowitz
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New York was always more expensive than any other place in the United States, but you could live in New York - and by New York, I mean Manhattan. Brooklyn was the borough of grandparents. We didn't live well. We lived in these horrible places. But you could live in New York. And you didn't have to think about money every second.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Fran Lebowitz
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Spilling your guts is just exactly as charming as it sounds.
Fran Lebowitz
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Writers get exactly the right amount of fame: just enough to get a good table in a restaurant but not enough so that people are constantly interrupting you while you're eating dinner.
Fran Lebowitz
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Think before you speak. Read before you think.
Fran Lebowitz
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No one I knew talked about money. It's not an area of interest.
Fran Lebowitz
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You sit or stand in the subway, and you look around - I do, because I don't have a phone so I'm not playing a game - and you see people.
Fran Lebowitz
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The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
Fran Lebowitz
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...I believed passionately that Communists were a race of horned men who divided their time equally between the burning of Nancy Drew books and the devising of a plan of nuclear attack that would land the largest and most lethal bomb squarely upon the third-grade class of Thomas Jefferson School in Morristown, New Jersey.
Fran Lebowitz