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I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of New York.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Decide
Directors
York
Comes
Like
Admissions
Admission
Director

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
Fran Lebowitz
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Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans.
Fran Lebowitz
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Spilling your guts is just exactly as charming as it sounds.
Fran Lebowitz
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If there were, say, only 10 percent of the hotels that exist now, there would be all these apartments for people who live in New York, as opposed to people visiting New York. And then all this junk in the theater, we would no longer need the kind of stuff that tourists like.
Fran Lebowitz
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When I was young, boys didn't type.
Fran Lebowitz
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A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.
Fran Lebowitz
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A salad is not a meal, it is a style.
Fran Lebowitz
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
Fran Lebowitz
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The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
Fran Lebowitz
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There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.
Fran Lebowitz
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If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer -- not a book.
Fran Lebowitz
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There is nothing more mine than my writing, nothing I'm more proprietary about.
Fran Lebowitz
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No one's supposed to be the president. This is not England. And it's not just the Bush family, all families designate each child as having some particular trait.
Fran Lebowitz
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No one I knew talked about money. It's not an area of interest.
Fran Lebowitz
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz
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When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people with whom I share nothing except the right to trial by jury.
Fran Lebowitz
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If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful.
Fran Lebowitz
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My dream writing room would be the Imperial Library in Vienna.
Fran Lebowitz
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If people don't hold grudges, it means they just don't care what people do.
Fran Lebowitz
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I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
Fran Lebowitz