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I stopped taking drugs when I was 19, and who wants to drive a cab around New York with drugs in their car?

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Drive
Car
York
Drug
Taking
Wants
Cab
Around
Stopped
Drugs

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I think writing for me has always been a matter of fear. Writing is fear and not writing is fear. I am afraid of writing and then I'm afraid of not writing.
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To me, O'Hara is the real Fitzgerald.
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I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines.
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Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be.
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Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
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I drank my lifetime supply of alcohol and I took my lifetime supply of drugs between the ages of 15 and 19.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
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What I can't be is monogamous. That tends to upset people. I just don't like domestic life.
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There are certain relationships I think I'm great at: I'm the world's greatest daughter. I'm a great relative. I believe I'm a great friend.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
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I do not think everyone is created equal. In fact, I know they're not. [The Constitution] means that everyone should have the same laws as everyone else. It doesn't mean that everyone's as smart or as cute or as lucky as everyone else.
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Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters.
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No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million.
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A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.
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You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness.
Fran Lebowitz
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China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It's a very bad idea.
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I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.
Fran Lebowitz
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Fran Lebowitz