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Because I was young, I had this long hair, and people used to try to tip me with joints.
Fran Lebowitz
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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 73
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Trying
Long
People
Joints
Hair
Used
Young
More quotes by Fran Lebowitz
I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
Fran Lebowitz
I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.
Fran Lebowitz
I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked.
Fran Lebowitz
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
Fran Lebowitz
When we were young, we knew things. We knew basic history, even as it related to fashion. Now, when something reappears, an 18 year old has no clue that it's a revival. Despite the fact that they're almost always online they don't get references. I think that's part of why visual things are becoming so derivative.
Fran Lebowitz
if you live in New York and you have a guest room, you have guests. So I think it's best not to have a guest room.
Fran Lebowitz
Polite conversation is rarely either.
Fran Lebowitz
Any artist who has that quality of timelessness has that quality because they tell the truth.
Fran Lebowitz
Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans.
Fran Lebowitz
Cold soup is a very tricky thing and it is a rare hostess who can carry it off. More often than not the dinner guest is left with the impression that had he only come a little earlier he could have gotten it while it was still hot.
Fran Lebowitz
There is nothing more mine than my writing, nothing I'm more proprietary about.
Fran Lebowitz
The truth is that most families have no smart ones and no pretty ones. Most families are a bunch of unattractive dopes. And it turns out that the Bush family, like most families, has no smart ones. I was not surprised to see this.
Fran Lebowitz
When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.
Fran Lebowitz
My favorite animal is steak.
Fran Lebowitz
I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.
Fran Lebowitz
I'm not a Communist. I'm an American. I'm a capitalist. I mean, I'm not a very good capitalist, myself. I'm not very good at it, but it's not that I'm not for capitalism. But people who believe in things like corporate citizenship, it's idiotic. I mean, it shows you're an idiot.
Fran Lebowitz
Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.
Fran Lebowitz
The great thing about New Jersey is that it's close to New York.
Fran Lebowitz
I never wanted to have any extra money, if it meant having to have any extra work.
Fran Lebowitz
I drove a cab. But all the girls I knew when I was young who had to work - there were rich girls - but the ones who had to work were waitresses. Because you could always get shifts in a restaurant.
Fran Lebowitz