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Because I was young, I had this long hair, and people used to try to tip me with joints.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Used
Young
Trying
Long
People
Joints
Hair

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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I used to love to write. As a child I used to write all the time. I loved to write up until the second I got my first professional writing job. It turns out it's not that I hate to write. I hate, simply, to work.
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I had to go on TV with the president of the Catholic League, which is not an official organization at all, just a lot of Catholics, or maybe it's just this guy. He demanded to de-fund art completely and argued that taxpayers should not pay for it. I said people who represent the Catholic Church shouldn't talk about taxes.
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No one I knew talked about money. It's not an area of interest.
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I am not... totally unreceptive to colour providing it makes its appearance quietly, deferentially, and without undue fanfare.
Fran Lebowitz
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If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with Let's Make a Deal.
Fran Lebowitz
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When I was very little, say five or six, I became aware of the fact that people wrote books. Before that, I thought that God wrote books. I thought a book was a manifestation of nature, like a tree.
Fran Lebowitz
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Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
Fran Lebowitz
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There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.
Fran Lebowitz
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
Fran Lebowitz
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There's nothing like being old to be sure of everything.
Fran Lebowitz
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People who are well-known, famous people, I think, make very poor characters for fiction. They make good characters for gossip columns. But not for fiction.
Fran Lebowitz
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I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
Fran Lebowitz
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My dream writing room would be the Imperial Library in Vienna.
Fran Lebowitz
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If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Fran Lebowitz
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Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
Fran Lebowitz
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In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate each other, but violence based on that hatred is really uncommon here.
Fran Lebowitz
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Will power is not telling anybody you quit smoking.
Fran Lebowitz
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Without these tourists, New York would be fantastic. I don't want them to come. Stay home!
Fran Lebowitz
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I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of New York.
Fran Lebowitz
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Children are much less annoying [than adults] and they never start trends.
Fran Lebowitz