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Luckily when you drive a cab there are two things: You don't have a boss in the cab with you, and you are not facing the people that you are making money from.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
People
Luckily
Facing
Boss
Drive
Making
Money
Two
Things
Cab

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Take away a man's actual sense of manhood - which is conventionally based on the ability to work, to earn money, to be self-sufficient, to provide for children - and you've got to give them something else. And they did.
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I wish that real estate were cheaper and clothes were more expensive.
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Once you go outside your natural audience, there are tons of people that don't like you.
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I doubt there's ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.
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There are certain relationships I think I'm great at: I'm the world's greatest daughter. I'm a great relative. I believe I'm a great friend.
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Democracy is an interesting, even laudable, notion and there is no question but that when compared to Communism, which is too dull, or Fascism, which is too exciting, it emerges as the most palatable form of government.
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Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters.
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Writers have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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I stopped taking drugs when I was 19, and who wants to drive a cab around New York with drugs in their car?
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My favorite animal is steak.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one.
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Anti-smoking sentiment has replaced middle-class morality entirely. The smoker has taken the place of the homosexual. Today you hear people say things about smokers that used to be said about homosexuals - they pollute the environment you don't want them around your children.
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Japanese food is very pretty and undoubtedly a suitable cuisine in Japan, which is largely populated by people of below average size. Hostesses hell-bent on serving such food to occidentals would be well advised to supplement it with something more substantial and to keep in mind that almost everybody likes french fries.
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[On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your mother calls you.
Fran Lebowitz
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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A community is a butcher and a doctor, a minister, a town troublemaker. A community is not a bunch of people united by some grievance. That's just self-righteousness - incredibly dangerous and antidemocratic.
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I drove a cab. But all the girls I knew when I was young who had to work - there were rich girls - but the ones who had to work were waitresses. Because you could always get shifts in a restaurant.
Fran Lebowitz