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I have the exact opposite problem of every writer I've ever met: Every writer I've ever met writes things that are too long, and they have to edit them down.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Every
Exact
Long
Opposite
Things
Opposites
Mets
Writer
Problem
Edit
Ever
Edits
Writing
Writes

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There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.
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Nothing lasts. So it's my belief, yes, I know a lot of the things that we liked didn't last, but maybe things we don't like, they're also not going to last. There has been progress in my lifetime. There are certainly things that are better than when I was young, and there are things that are worse. New York City, it's worse. There's no question.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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People who are well-known, famous people, I think, make very poor characters for fiction. They make good characters for gossip columns. But not for fiction.
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Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number.
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The thing you love right away, don't do it, because that's the very thing that's going to be your addiction for the rest of your life.
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Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I've ever encountered.
Fran Lebowitz
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The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
Fran Lebowitz
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It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensive domestic cigars.
Fran Lebowitz
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I think one manifestation of integrity is holding a grudge. Saying no is a little different. Holding a grudge is the modern equivalent of having standards.
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Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's own interest in the topic has waned.
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...I believed passionately that Communists were a race of horned men who divided their time equally between the burning of Nancy Drew books and the devising of a plan of nuclear attack that would land the largest and most lethal bomb squarely upon the third-grade class of Thomas Jefferson School in Morristown, New Jersey.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Fran Lebowitz
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Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
Fran Lebowitz
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Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.
Fran Lebowitz
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To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.
Fran Lebowitz
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I love being in love. I don't think anything compares with it, though I consider it very disruptive.
Fran Lebowitz
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I am not... totally unreceptive to colour providing it makes its appearance quietly, deferentially, and without undue fanfare.
Fran Lebowitz
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Whenever someone accuses someone of being a racist - which is rare, you have to admit, considering how much racism there is - there is an incredible outrage. I realized that we live in an environment that it seems to be worse to call someone a racist than to be one.
Fran Lebowitz