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I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Never
Typewriter
Typewriters
Machines

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I drank my lifetime supply of alcohol and I took my lifetime supply of drugs between the ages of 15 and 19.
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Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be.
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Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
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When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.
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Los Angeles is a large city-like area surrounding the Beverly Hills Hotel.
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I drove a cab. But all the girls I knew when I was young who had to work - there were rich girls - but the ones who had to work were waitresses. Because you could always get shifts in a restaurant.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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I, unfortunately, take the subway a lot. It's not my preference, but it is my lot in life.
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Writing is so hard. Why would you be a writer if you weren't really good at it? If you could be anything else, why would you be a writer?
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Writers have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography.
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You sit or stand in the subway, and you look around - I do, because I don't have a phone so I'm not playing a game - and you see people.
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The truth is that most families have no smart ones and no pretty ones. Most families are a bunch of unattractive dopes. And it turns out that the Bush family, like most families, has no smart ones. I was not surprised to see this.
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I never wanted to have any extra money, if it meant having to have any extra work.
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The Italians are the most civilized people. And they're very warm. Basically, they're Jews with great architecture.
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Children are much less annoying [than adults] and they never start trends.
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New York was always more expensive than the other places, even when it was going bankrupt. In other words, in 1971, New York was expensive for someone with no money. For anyone.
Fran Lebowitz
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The second I learned to read in first grade, when I was 5, I preferred it to life. And I still do.
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I just write when fear overtakes me.
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If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you've imagined. Venice is - Venice is better.
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Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn't make up yourself - a wise move at any age, but most especially at seventeen, when you are in the greatest danger of coming to annoying conclusions.
Fran Lebowitz