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Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Exactly
Television
Going
Pedantic
Irritating
Intellectuals
Turned

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It's very important when making a friend to check and see if they have a private plane. People think a good personality trait in a friend is kindness or a sense of humor. No, in a friend a good personality trait is a Gulfstream.
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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What I can't be is monogamous. That tends to upset people. I just don't like domestic life.
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A salad is not a meal, it is a style.
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Tourism as a number-one industry is a terrible, terrible idea for any city, especially New York. If you were going to turn a city, which is a place where people live, into a tourist attraction, you're going to have to make it a place that people who don't live here, like. So I object to living in a place for people who don't live here.
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Because I was young, I had this long hair, and people used to try to tip me with joints.
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Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??
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I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked.
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I wouldn't say that I dislike the young. I'm simply not a fan of naïveté.
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If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer -- not a book.
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Communism requires of its adherents that they arise early and participate in a strenuous round of calisthenics. To someone who wishes that cigarettes came already lit the thought of such exertion at an hour when decent people are just nodding off is thoroughly abhorrent.
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No one's supposed to be the president. This is not England. And it's not just the Bush family, all families designate each child as having some particular trait.
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Cold soup is a very tricky thing and it is a rare hostess who can carry it off. More often than not the dinner guest is left with the impression that had he only come a little earlier he could have gotten it while it was still hot.
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I'm very lazy, I hate to work.
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I stopped taking drugs when I was 19, and who wants to drive a cab around New York with drugs in their car?
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Telling someone he looks healthy isn't a compliment -- it's a second opinion.
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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Food is definitely important part of your balanced diet.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters.
Fran Lebowitz