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You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Achieve
Young
Really
Nasty
Bitterness
Older

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It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensive domestic cigars.
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All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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I doubt there's ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.
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When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer.
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I used to love to write. As a child I used to write all the time. I loved to write up until the second I got my first professional writing job. It turns out it's not that I hate to write. I hate, simply, to work.
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If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with Let's Make a Deal.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
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There are too many books. The books are terrible. And this is because you have been taught to have self-esteem.
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My favorite animal is steak.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
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Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit.
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There are certain relationships I think I'm great at: I'm the world's greatest daughter. I'm a great relative. I believe I'm a great friend.
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
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I'm not a Communist. I'm an American. I'm a capitalist. I mean, I'm not a very good capitalist, myself. I'm not very good at it, but it's not that I'm not for capitalism. But people who believe in things like corporate citizenship, it's idiotic. I mean, it shows you're an idiot.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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Telling someone he looks healthy isn't a compliment -- it's a second opinion.
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Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??
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Whenever I am doing anything else, which is most of the time, even if it is not something like robbing a bank, I feel felonious. Writing is what I'm supposed to be doing.
Fran Lebowitz