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Writing is so hard. Why would you be a writer if you weren't really good at it? If you could be anything else, why would you be a writer?

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Anything
Hard
Writing
Really
Good
Would
Weren
Writer
Else

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Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit.
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Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number.
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Do not have your child's hair cut by a real hairdresser in a real hairdressing salon. He is, at this point, far too short to be exposed to contempt.
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Now the culture is made of old things, it's a collage. Art made out of art is not art. You're supposed to make art out of life.
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When Toni Morrison said 'write the book you want to read,' she didn't mean everybody.
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Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be.
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People who get married because they're in love make a ridiculous mistake. It makes much more sense to marry your best friend. You like your best friend more than anyone you're ever going to be in love with. You dont choose your best friend because they have a cute nose.
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The other day I read that last year 58 million tourists came to New York ... where a puny eight million people are trying to live. Unless they own a hotel chain, I don't think a single one of these eight million people are happy about this.
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I doubt there's ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.
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When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Fran Lebowitz
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Take away a man's actual sense of manhood - which is conventionally based on the ability to work, to earn money, to be self-sufficient, to provide for children - and you've got to give them something else. And they did.
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Writers get exactly the right amount of fame: just enough to get a good table in a restaurant but not enough so that people are constantly interrupting you while you're eating dinner.
Fran Lebowitz
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I wish that real estate were cheaper and clothes were more expensive.
Fran Lebowitz
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I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines.
Fran Lebowitz
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New York was always more expensive than the other places, even when it was going bankrupt. In other words, in 1971, New York was expensive for someone with no money. For anyone.
Fran Lebowitz
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I never would start writing before midnight and I would finish at, like, seven in the morning.
Fran Lebowitz
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I woke up at five o'clock in the morning with the whole first paragraph in my head. Now, this just shows what a slothful person I am: I tried to go back to sleep.
Fran Lebowitz
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Most writers write too much. I have the exact opposite problem. I feel I could write almost anything in a paragraph. I have a natural ability to condense, and so I often think, Are you kidding me? Five thousand words? How am I gonna make 5,000 words out of that?
Fran Lebowitz
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When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people with whom I share nothing except the right to trial by jury.
Fran Lebowitz