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Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I've ever encountered.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Writing
Encountered
Exhausting
Profession
Probably
Ever

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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
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There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.
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I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use.
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While clothes with pictures and/or writing on them are not entirely an invention of the modern age, they are an unpleasant indication of the general state of things. ... I mean, be realistic. If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?
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Life was certainly more entertaining when people were indulging their vices as opposed to going to meetings to indulge in a new vice: discussing their innermost thoughts in public.
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The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.
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I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
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I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I'm lazier than most. I don't want to brag, but I'm the laziest person I have ever known.
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Once you go outside your natural audience, there are tons of people that don't like you.
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There's nothing like being old to be sure of everything.
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Tourism as a number-one industry is a terrible, terrible idea for any city, especially New York. If you were going to turn a city, which is a place where people live, into a tourist attraction, you're going to have to make it a place that people who don't live here, like. So I object to living in a place for people who don't live here.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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It's very important when making a friend to check and see if they have a private plane. People think a good personality trait in a friend is kindness or a sense of humor. No, in a friend a good personality trait is a Gulfstream.
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It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them.
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A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
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In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate each other, but violence based on that hatred is really uncommon here.
Fran Lebowitz
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Children are much less annoying [than adults] and they never start trends.
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If people don't hold grudges, it means they just don't care what people do.
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