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My dream writing room would be the Imperial Library in Vienna.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Vienna
Imperial
Library
Room
Rooms
Dream
Writing
Would

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Forcing people into a situation where they're supposed to adore each other is probably bad. But letting people get on and off the 6 train without stabbing each other, that's good.
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Once you go outside your natural audience, there are tons of people that don't like you.
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I hate academic mysteries. As soon as I come across the word 'don' and it's not someone's first name, I close the book.
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My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
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Most writers write too much. I have the exact opposite problem. I feel I could write almost anything in a paragraph. I have a natural ability to condense, and so I often think, Are you kidding me? Five thousand words? How am I gonna make 5,000 words out of that?
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one.
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I have the exact opposite problem of every writer I've ever met: Every writer I've ever met writes things that are too long, and they have to edit them down.
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No one I knew talked about money. It's not an area of interest.
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I do not think everyone is created equal. In fact, I know they're not. [The Constitution] means that everyone should have the same laws as everyone else. It doesn't mean that everyone's as smart or as cute or as lucky as everyone else.
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China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It's a very bad idea.
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If people don't hold grudges, it means they just don't care what people do.
Fran Lebowitz
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
Fran Lebowitz
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If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
Fran Lebowitz
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I don't like the kind of country living where you have to help. I like country living where there is help.
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Anti-smoking sentiment has replaced middle-class morality entirely. The smoker has taken the place of the homosexual. Today you hear people say things about smokers that used to be said about homosexuals - they pollute the environment you don't want them around your children.
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All style is personal - that's what distinguishes it from fashion.
Fran Lebowitz
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When Toni Morrison said 'write the book you want to read,' she didn't mean everybody.
Fran Lebowitz