Quote

A woman's quest in life should be to find the perfect apartment. And I have found the perfect apartment. The perfect apartment is the first floor of the Metropolitan Museum. With a sofa.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Found
Quests
Find
Quest
Museums
Firsts
Apartment
First
Floor
Metropolitan
Life
Modern
Sofa
Perfect
Sofas
Woman
Museum

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Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
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There's too much democracy in the culture, not enough in the society.
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What people don't know is: Clothes don't really fit you unless they're made for you. Especially when you wear men's clothes, like I do. American women think that clothes fit them if they can fit into them. But that's not at all what fit means.
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If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful.
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No one I knew talked about money. It's not an area of interest.
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Japanese food is very pretty and undoubtedly a suitable cuisine in Japan, which is largely populated by people of below average size. Hostesses hell-bent on serving such food to occidentals would be well advised to supplement it with something more substantial and to keep in mind that almost everybody likes french fries.
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I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines.
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I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of New York.
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Middle class was defined by having certain values and only a certain amount of money. But this new middle class seems to have absolutely no values and an unlimited amount of money.
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Think before you speak. Read before you think.
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It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them.
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A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.
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Forcing people into a situation where they're supposed to adore each other is probably bad. But letting people get on and off the 6 train without stabbing each other, that's good.
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A community is a butcher and a doctor, a minister, a town troublemaker. A community is not a bunch of people united by some grievance. That's just self-righteousness - incredibly dangerous and antidemocratic.
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.
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In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate each other, but violence based on that hatred is really uncommon here.
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If there were, say, only 10 percent of the hotels that exist now, there would be all these apartments for people who live in New York, as opposed to people visiting New York. And then all this junk in the theater, we would no longer need the kind of stuff that tourists like.
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...I believed passionately that Communists were a race of horned men who divided their time equally between the burning of Nancy Drew books and the devising of a plan of nuclear attack that would land the largest and most lethal bomb squarely upon the third-grade class of Thomas Jefferson School in Morristown, New Jersey.
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New Yorkers, we've seen Donald Trump for, like, 30 years we know who he is. So he wasn't a surprise to me.
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