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Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??
Fran Lebowitz
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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Special
Need
Mean
Bicycles
Needs
Helmet
People
Astronaut
Bicycle
Costumes
Ride
More quotes by Fran Lebowitz
A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.
Fran Lebowitz
China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It's a very bad idea.
Fran Lebowitz
I'm not a Communist. I'm an American. I'm a capitalist. I mean, I'm not a very good capitalist, myself. I'm not very good at it, but it's not that I'm not for capitalism. But people who believe in things like corporate citizenship, it's idiotic. I mean, it shows you're an idiot.
Fran Lebowitz
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Fran Lebowitz
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
Fran Lebowitz
I had to go on TV with the president of the Catholic League, which is not an official organization at all, just a lot of Catholics, or maybe it's just this guy. He demanded to de-fund art completely and argued that taxpayers should not pay for it. I said people who represent the Catholic Church shouldn't talk about taxes.
Fran Lebowitz
London: A place you go to get bronchitis.
Fran Lebowitz
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
Fran Lebowitz
I have friends, some of whom are spectacularly good writers, who really want someone to edit them. I don't register that impulse. It's like the impulse for wanting a dog.
Fran Lebowitz
Nothing lasts. So it's my belief, yes, I know a lot of the things that we liked didn't last, but maybe things we don't like, they're also not going to last. There has been progress in my lifetime. There are certainly things that are better than when I was young, and there are things that are worse. New York City, it's worse. There's no question.
Fran Lebowitz
The other day I read that last year 58 million tourists came to New York ... where a puny eight million people are trying to live. Unless they own a hotel chain, I don't think a single one of these eight million people are happy about this.
Fran Lebowitz
You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
Fran Lebowitz
The French probably invented the very notion of discretion. It's not that they feel that what you don't know won't hurt you they feel that what you don't know won't hurt them. To the French lying is simply talking.
Fran Lebowitz
I doubt there's ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.
Fran Lebowitz
There are certain relationships I think I'm great at: I'm the world's greatest daughter. I'm a great relative. I believe I'm a great friend.
Fran Lebowitz
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
Fran Lebowitz
Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number.
Fran Lebowitz
Once you go outside your natural audience, there are tons of people that don't like you.
Fran Lebowitz
Think before you speak. Read before you think.
Fran Lebowitz
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
Fran Lebowitz
