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Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Need
Mean
Bicycles
Needs
Helmet
People
Astronaut
Bicycle
Costumes
Ride
Special

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When we were young, we knew things. We knew basic history, even as it related to fashion. Now, when something reappears, an 18 year old has no clue that it's a revival. Despite the fact that they're almost always online they don't get references. I think that's part of why visual things are becoming so derivative.
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There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.
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If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you've imagined. Venice is - Venice is better.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
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You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
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Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's own interest in the topic has waned.
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For the movie review columns, I always knew exactly what I was going to write about - the movies.
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What people don't know is: Clothes don't really fit you unless they're made for you. Especially when you wear men's clothes, like I do. American women think that clothes fit them if they can fit into them. But that's not at all what fit means.
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Food is definitely important part of your balanced diet.
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[On the writers she admires:] I prefer dead writers, because I don't see them at parties.
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Frenchman: Germans with good food.
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The great thing about New Jersey is that it's close to New York.
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The other day I read that last year 58 million tourists came to New York ... where a puny eight million people are trying to live. Unless they own a hotel chain, I don't think a single one of these eight million people are happy about this.
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I had to go on TV with the president of the Catholic League, which is not an official organization at all, just a lot of Catholics, or maybe it's just this guy. He demanded to de-fund art completely and argued that taxpayers should not pay for it. I said people who represent the Catholic Church shouldn't talk about taxes.
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I stopped taking drugs when I was 19, and who wants to drive a cab around New York with drugs in their car?
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Communism requires of its adherents that they arise early and participate in a strenuous round of calisthenics. To someone who wishes that cigarettes came already lit the thought of such exertion at an hour when decent people are just nodding off is thoroughly abhorrent.
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The Italians are the most civilized people. And they're very warm. Basically, they're Jews with great architecture.
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People always say pop culture. As if we have some high culture to distinguish it from.
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Telling someone he looks healthy isn't a compliment -- it's a second opinion.
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Forcing people into a situation where they're supposed to adore each other is probably bad. But letting people get on and off the 6 train without stabbing each other, that's good.
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