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Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Costumes
Ride
Special
Need
Mean
Bicycles
Needs
Helmet
People
Astronaut
Bicycle

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Japanese food is very pretty and undoubtedly a suitable cuisine in Japan, which is largely populated by people of below average size. Hostesses hell-bent on serving such food to occidentals would be well advised to supplement it with something more substantial and to keep in mind that almost everybody likes french fries.
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When I was young, boys didn't type.
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Without these tourists, New York would be fantastic. I don't want them to come. Stay home!
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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I hate, simply, to work. I just hate to work, period. I am profoundly slothful. Practically inert.
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I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines.
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I doubt there's ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.
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Even when America is not working that well, it still works better than other places.
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There are too many books. The books are terrible. And this is because you have been taught to have self-esteem.
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I, unfortunately, take the subway a lot. It's not my preference, but it is my lot in life.
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I write a sentence a thousand times, changing it all the time to look at it in different ways.
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
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I prefer dead writers because you don't run into them at parties.
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Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit.
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I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.
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People who are well-known, famous people, I think, make very poor characters for fiction. They make good characters for gossip columns. But not for fiction.
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The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million.
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Tourism as a number-one industry is a terrible, terrible idea for any city, especially New York. If you were going to turn a city, which is a place where people live, into a tourist attraction, you're going to have to make it a place that people who don't live here, like. So I object to living in a place for people who don't live here.
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
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