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Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Needs
Helmet
People
Astronaut
Bicycle
Costumes
Ride
Special
Need
Mean
Bicycles

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I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I'm lazier than most. I don't want to brag, but I'm the laziest person I have ever known.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.
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I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines.
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The second I learned to read in first grade, when I was 5, I preferred it to life. And I still do.
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I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.
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I'm very lazy, I hate to work.
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All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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When I'm supposed to be writing I clean my apartment, take my clothes to the laundry, get organized, make lists, do the dishes. I would never do a dish unless I had to write.
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China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It's a very bad idea.
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Japanese food is very pretty and undoubtedly a suitable cuisine in Japan, which is largely populated by people of below average size. Hostesses hell-bent on serving such food to occidentals would be well advised to supplement it with something more substantial and to keep in mind that almost everybody likes french fries.
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All style is personal - that's what distinguishes it from fashion.
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What I can't be is monogamous. That tends to upset people. I just don't like domestic life.
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