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Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Bicycle
Costumes
Ride
Special
Need
Mean
Bicycles
Needs
Helmet
People
Astronaut

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I'm very lazy, I hate to work.
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London: A place you go to get bronchitis.
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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It's much easier to write a solemn book than a funny book. It's harder to make people laugh than it is to make them cry. People are always on the verge of tears.
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When I was young, boys didn't type.
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While clothes with pictures and/or writing on them are not entirely an invention of the modern age, they are an unpleasant indication of the general state of things. ... I mean, be realistic. If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?
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Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
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Children are much less annoying [than adults] and they never start trends.
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I am not... totally unreceptive to colour providing it makes its appearance quietly, deferentially, and without undue fanfare.
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The truth is that most families have no smart ones and no pretty ones. Most families are a bunch of unattractive dopes. And it turns out that the Bush family, like most families, has no smart ones. I was not surprised to see this.
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I hate, simply, to work. I just hate to work, period. I am profoundly slothful. Practically inert.
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I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked.
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I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.
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I'm like the laziest person who ever lived. It's amazing to me I even sit up.
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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There is nothing more mine than my writing, nothing I'm more proprietary about.
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Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn't have to put them in prisons?
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I prefer dead writers because you don't run into them at parties.
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There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.
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