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A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.
Fran Lebowitz
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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Friend
Best
Never
Lawyer
Men
Obviously
Thinking
Thinks
Mets
Dog
Taxes
More quotes by Fran Lebowitz
I think one manifestation of integrity is holding a grudge. Saying no is a little different. Holding a grudge is the modern equivalent of having standards.
Fran Lebowitz
You sit or stand in the subway, and you look around - I do, because I don't have a phone so I'm not playing a game - and you see people.
Fran Lebowitz
The Italians are the most civilized people. And they're very warm. Basically, they're Jews with great architecture.
Fran Lebowitz
No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million.
Fran Lebowitz
Think before you speak. Read before you think.
Fran Lebowitz
I hate, simply, to work. I just hate to work, period. I am profoundly slothful. Practically inert.
Fran Lebowitz
Life was certainly more entertaining when people were indulging their vices as opposed to going to meetings to indulge in a new vice: discussing their innermost thoughts in public.
Fran Lebowitz
I woke up at five o'clock in the morning with the whole first paragraph in my head. Now, this just shows what a slothful person I am: I tried to go back to sleep.
Fran Lebowitz
Whenever I am doing anything else, which is most of the time, even if it is not something like robbing a bank, I feel felonious. Writing is what I'm supposed to be doing.
Fran Lebowitz
My favorite animal is steak.
Fran Lebowitz
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
Fran Lebowitz
To me, O'Hara is the real Fitzgerald.
Fran Lebowitz
I walk a lot in New York, not for the exercise but to get from place to place, and because it's the way of having the least contact with human beings.
Fran Lebowitz
The second I learned to read in first grade, when I was 5, I preferred it to life. And I still do.
Fran Lebowitz
In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate each other, but violence based on that hatred is really uncommon here.
Fran Lebowitz
Food is definitely important part of your balanced diet.
Fran Lebowitz
The French probably invented the very notion of discretion. It's not that they feel that what you don't know won't hurt you they feel that what you don't know won't hurt them. To the French lying is simply talking.
Fran Lebowitz
A salad is not a meal, it is a style.
Fran Lebowitz
When I was very little, say five or six, I became aware of the fact that people wrote books. Before that, I thought that God wrote books. I thought a book was a manifestation of nature, like a tree.
Fran Lebowitz
Los Angeles is a large city-like area surrounding the Beverly Hills Hotel.
Fran Lebowitz
