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A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.
Fran Lebowitz
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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 73
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Men
Obviously
Thinking
Thinks
Mets
Dog
Taxes
Friend
Best
Never
Lawyer
More quotes by Fran Lebowitz
Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit.
Fran Lebowitz
London: A place you go to get bronchitis.
Fran Lebowitz
Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
Fran Lebowitz
Take away a man's actual sense of manhood - which is conventionally based on the ability to work, to earn money, to be self-sufficient, to provide for children - and you've got to give them something else. And they did.
Fran Lebowitz
I hate academic mysteries. As soon as I come across the word 'don' and it's not someone's first name, I close the book.
Fran Lebowitz
Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number.
Fran Lebowitz
I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
Fran Lebowitz
If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful.
Fran Lebowitz
It is not true that there is dignity in all work. Some jobs are definitely better than others.
Fran Lebowitz
Food is definitely important part of your balanced diet.
Fran Lebowitz
Any artist who has that quality of timelessness has that quality because they tell the truth.
Fran Lebowitz
In Rome people spend most of their time having lunch. And they do it very well - Rome is unquestionably the lunch capital of the world.
Fran Lebowitz
Even when America is not working that well, it still works better than other places.
Fran Lebowitz
Think before you speak. Read before you think.
Fran Lebowitz
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
Fran Lebowitz
I am not... totally unreceptive to colour providing it makes its appearance quietly, deferentially, and without undue fanfare.
Fran Lebowitz
The French probably invented the very notion of discretion. It's not that they feel that what you don't know won't hurt you they feel that what you don't know won't hurt them. To the French lying is simply talking.
Fran Lebowitz
To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.
Fran Lebowitz
If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you've imagined. Venice is - Venice is better.
Fran Lebowitz
It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them.
Fran Lebowitz