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A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.
Fran Lebowitz
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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Friend
Best
Lawyer
Never
Obviously
Men
Thinks
Thinking
Mets
Dog
Taxes
More quotes by Fran Lebowitz
Most writers write too much. I have the exact opposite problem. I feel I could write almost anything in a paragraph. I have a natural ability to condense, and so I often think, Are you kidding me? Five thousand words? How am I gonna make 5,000 words out of that?
Fran Lebowitz
My favorite animal is steak.
Fran Lebowitz
Now the culture is made of old things, it's a collage. Art made out of art is not art. You're supposed to make art out of life.
Fran Lebowitz
It is not true that there is dignity in all work. Some jobs are definitely better than others.
Fran Lebowitz
Telling someone he looks healthy isn't a compliment -- it's a second opinion.
Fran Lebowitz
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
Fran Lebowitz
[On the writers she admires:] I prefer dead writers, because I don't see them at parties.
Fran Lebowitz
[On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your mother calls you.
Fran Lebowitz
Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be.
Fran Lebowitz
Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
Fran Lebowitz
I hate, simply, to work. I just hate to work, period. I am profoundly slothful. Practically inert.
Fran Lebowitz
I had to go on TV with the president of the Catholic League, which is not an official organization at all, just a lot of Catholics, or maybe it's just this guy. He demanded to de-fund art completely and argued that taxpayers should not pay for it. I said people who represent the Catholic Church shouldn't talk about taxes.
Fran Lebowitz
Anti-smoking sentiment has replaced middle-class morality entirely. The smoker has taken the place of the homosexual. Today you hear people say things about smokers that used to be said about homosexuals - they pollute the environment you don't want them around your children.
Fran Lebowitz
I doubt there's ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.
Fran Lebowitz
Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.
Fran Lebowitz
Smoking is, if not my life, then at least my hobby. I love to smoke. Smoking is fun. Smoking is cool. Smoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult.
Fran Lebowitz
It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them.
Fran Lebowitz
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
Fran Lebowitz
Democracy is an interesting, even laudable, notion and there is no question but that when compared to Communism, which is too dull, or Fascism, which is too exciting, it emerges as the most palatable form of government.
Fran Lebowitz
I am not... totally unreceptive to colour providing it makes its appearance quietly, deferentially, and without undue fanfare.
Fran Lebowitz
