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I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I'm lazier than most. I don't want to brag, but I'm the laziest person I have ever known.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Lazier
Ever
Laziest
Hard
Writing
Brag
Time
Writers
Harder
Known
Persons
Person

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If you're going to America, bring your own food.
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I never wanted to have any extra money, if it meant having to have any extra work.
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Whenever I am doing anything else, which is most of the time, even if it is not something like robbing a bank, I feel felonious. Writing is what I'm supposed to be doing.
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Luckily when you drive a cab there are two things: You don't have a boss in the cab with you, and you are not facing the people that you are making money from.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one.
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I love being in love. I don't think anything compares with it, though I consider it very disruptive.
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Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters.
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When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people with whom I share nothing except the right to trial by jury.
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if you live in New York and you have a guest room, you have guests. So I think it's best not to have a guest room.
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While clothes with pictures and/or writing on them are not entirely an invention of the modern age, they are an unpleasant indication of the general state of things. ... I mean, be realistic. If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?
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I'm not a nervous person. I'm not afraid to be on TV. I'm only afraid when I write. When I'm at my desk I feel like most people would feel if they went on TV.
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It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them.
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Cold soup is a very tricky thing and it is a rare hostess who can carry it off. More often than not the dinner guest is left with the impression that had he only come a little earlier he could have gotten it while it was still hot.
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There's too much democracy in the culture, not enough in the society.
Fran Lebowitz
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If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful.
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Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.
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The thing you love right away, don't do it, because that's the very thing that's going to be your addiction for the rest of your life.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
Fran Lebowitz
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Most writers write too much. I have the exact opposite problem. I feel I could write almost anything in a paragraph. I have a natural ability to condense, and so I often think, Are you kidding me? Five thousand words? How am I gonna make 5,000 words out of that?
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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