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Life was certainly more entertaining when people were indulging their vices as opposed to going to meetings to indulge in a new vice: discussing their innermost thoughts in public.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Life
Vice
People
Opposed
Vices
Meetings
Indulging
Certainly
Innermost
Thoughts
Discussing
Public
Indulge
Going
Entertaining

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Whenever someone accuses someone of being a racist - which is rare, you have to admit, considering how much racism there is - there is an incredible outrage. I realized that we live in an environment that it seems to be worse to call someone a racist than to be one.
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Knowingness is sexy. The opposite of sexy is naivete.
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I walk a lot in New York, not for the exercise but to get from place to place, and because it's the way of having the least contact with human beings.
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No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million.
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I just write when fear overtakes me.
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It's much easier to write a solemn book than a funny book. It's harder to make people laugh than it is to make them cry. People are always on the verge of tears.
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A woman's quest in life should be to find the perfect apartment. And I have found the perfect apartment. The perfect apartment is the first floor of the Metropolitan Museum. With a sofa.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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No one I knew talked about money. It's not an area of interest.
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Once you go outside your natural audience, there are tons of people that don't like you.
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Everything in Japan is hidden. Real life has an unlisted phone number.
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I'm such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don't need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself.
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Democracy is an interesting, even laudable, notion and there is no question but that when compared to Communism, which is too dull, or Fascism, which is too exciting, it emerges as the most palatable form of government.
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For the movie review columns, I always knew exactly what I was going to write about - the movies.
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What I can't be is monogamous. That tends to upset people. I just don't like domestic life.
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Middle class was defined by having certain values and only a certain amount of money. But this new middle class seems to have absolutely no values and an unlimited amount of money.
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Cold soup is a very tricky thing and it is a rare hostess who can carry it off. More often than not the dinner guest is left with the impression that had he only come a little earlier he could have gotten it while it was still hot.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
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It's very important when making a friend to check and see if they have a private plane. People think a good personality trait in a friend is kindness or a sense of humor. No, in a friend a good personality trait is a Gulfstream.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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