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[On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your mother calls you.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Mother
Happens
Important
Something
Calls
Newspapers
Reading

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
Fran Lebowitz
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I had to go on TV with the president of the Catholic League, which is not an official organization at all, just a lot of Catholics, or maybe it's just this guy. He demanded to de-fund art completely and argued that taxpayers should not pay for it. I said people who represent the Catholic Church shouldn't talk about taxes.
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Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn't have to put them in prisons?
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There is nothing more mine than my writing, nothing I'm more proprietary about.
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I wouldn't say that I dislike the young. I'm simply not a fan of naïveté.
Fran Lebowitz
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I'm like the laziest person who ever lived. It's amazing to me I even sit up.
Fran Lebowitz
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I'm not a nervous person. I'm not afraid to be on TV. I'm only afraid when I write. When I'm at my desk I feel like most people would feel if they went on TV.
Fran Lebowitz
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London: A place you go to get bronchitis.
Fran Lebowitz
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Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
Fran Lebowitz
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It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensive domestic cigars.
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...I believed passionately that Communists were a race of horned men who divided their time equally between the burning of Nancy Drew books and the devising of a plan of nuclear attack that would land the largest and most lethal bomb squarely upon the third-grade class of Thomas Jefferson School in Morristown, New Jersey.
Fran Lebowitz
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It is, in fact, safe to assume that, more often than not, life imitates craft, for who among us can say that our experience does not more closely resemble a macramé plant holder than it does a painting by Seurat. When it comes to art, life is the biggest copycat in the matter of the frame.
Fran Lebowitz
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I don't like the kind of country living where you have to help. I like country living where there is help.
Fran Lebowitz
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If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Fran Lebowitz
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Because I was young, I had this long hair, and people used to try to tip me with joints.
Fran Lebowitz
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New Yorkers, we've seen Donald Trump for, like, 30 years we know who he is. So he wasn't a surprise to me.
Fran Lebowitz
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I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines.
Fran Lebowitz
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I love being in love. I don't think anything compares with it, though I consider it very disruptive.
Fran Lebowitz
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I walk a lot in New York, not for the exercise but to get from place to place, and because it's the way of having the least contact with human beings.
Fran Lebowitz
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I never would start writing before midnight and I would finish at, like, seven in the morning.
Fran Lebowitz