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[On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your mother calls you.
Fran Lebowitz
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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Calls
Newspapers
Reading
Mother
Happens
Important
Something
More quotes by Fran Lebowitz
I stopped taking drugs when I was 19, and who wants to drive a cab around New York with drugs in their car?
Fran Lebowitz
Now the culture is made of old things, it's a collage. Art made out of art is not art. You're supposed to make art out of life.
Fran Lebowitz
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
Fran Lebowitz
Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters.
Fran Lebowitz
Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word collectible as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.
Fran Lebowitz
It's much easier to write a solemn book than a funny book. It's harder to make people laugh than it is to make them cry. People are always on the verge of tears.
Fran Lebowitz
Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be.
Fran Lebowitz
There is nothing more mine than my writing, nothing I'm more proprietary about.
Fran Lebowitz
If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful.
Fran Lebowitz
When I was young, boys didn't type.
Fran Lebowitz
Smoking is, if not my life, then at least my hobby. I love to smoke. Smoking is fun. Smoking is cool. Smoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult.
Fran Lebowitz
People who are well-known, famous people, I think, make very poor characters for fiction. They make good characters for gossip columns. But not for fiction.
Fran Lebowitz
If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
Fran Lebowitz
It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them.
Fran Lebowitz
Knowingness is sexy. The opposite of sexy is naivete.
Fran Lebowitz
When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't crash. I was just afraid it was going to circle O'Hare for the rest of my life.
Fran Lebowitz
Spilling your guts is just exactly as charming as it sounds.
Fran Lebowitz
A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.
Fran Lebowitz
I'm not a nervous person. I'm not afraid to be on TV. I'm only afraid when I write. When I'm at my desk I feel like most people would feel if they went on TV.
Fran Lebowitz
If people don't hold grudges, it means they just don't care what people do.
Fran Lebowitz
