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[On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your mother calls you.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Happens
Important
Something
Calls
Newspapers
Reading
Mother

More quotes by Fran Lebowitz

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I have friends, some of whom are spectacularly good writers, who really want someone to edit them. I don't register that impulse. It's like the impulse for wanting a dog.
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I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of New York.
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I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines.
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No one I knew talked about money. It's not an area of interest.
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The other day I read that last year 58 million tourists came to New York ... where a puny eight million people are trying to live. Unless they own a hotel chain, I don't think a single one of these eight million people are happy about this.
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I hate, simply, to work. I just hate to work, period. I am profoundly slothful. Practically inert.
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Food is definitely important part of your balanced diet.
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All style is personal - that's what distinguishes it from fashion.
Fran Lebowitz
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When Toni Morrison said 'write the book you want to read,' she didn't mean everybody.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
Fran Lebowitz
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A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.
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If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful.
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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Spilling your guts is just exactly as charming as it sounds.
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I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
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It is, in fact, safe to assume that, more often than not, life imitates craft, for who among us can say that our experience does not more closely resemble a macramé plant holder than it does a painting by Seurat. When it comes to art, life is the biggest copycat in the matter of the frame.
Fran Lebowitz
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Sleep is death without the responsibility.
Fran Lebowitz
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If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
Fran Lebowitz
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I never would start writing before midnight and I would finish at, like, seven in the morning.
Fran Lebowitz