Quote

Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Strong
Entitles
Women
Ceiling
Men
Ceilings
Steady
Kitchen
Protection
Paint
Marriage

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I'm such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don't need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself.
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...I believed passionately that Communists were a race of horned men who divided their time equally between the burning of Nancy Drew books and the devising of a plan of nuclear attack that would land the largest and most lethal bomb squarely upon the third-grade class of Thomas Jefferson School in Morristown, New Jersey.
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I drank my lifetime supply of alcohol and I took my lifetime supply of drugs between the ages of 15 and 19.
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I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
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Life was certainly more entertaining when people were indulging their vices as opposed to going to meetings to indulge in a new vice: discussing their innermost thoughts in public.
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When I was very little, say five or six, I became aware of the fact that people wrote books. Before that, I thought that God wrote books. I thought a book was a manifestation of nature, like a tree.
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Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
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I used to love to write. As a child I used to write all the time. I loved to write up until the second I got my first professional writing job. It turns out it's not that I hate to write. I hate, simply, to work.
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People always say pop culture. As if we have some high culture to distinguish it from.
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I hate, simply, to work. I just hate to work, period. I am profoundly slothful. Practically inert.
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I never wanted to have any extra money, if it meant having to have any extra work.
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Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
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I prefer dead writers because you don't run into them at parties.
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I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.
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I do not think everyone is created equal. In fact, I know they're not. [The Constitution] means that everyone should have the same laws as everyone else. It doesn't mean that everyone's as smart or as cute or as lucky as everyone else.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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There are certain relationships I think I'm great at: I'm the world's greatest daughter. I'm a great relative. I believe I'm a great friend.
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A woman's quest in life should be to find the perfect apartment. And I have found the perfect apartment. The perfect apartment is the first floor of the Metropolitan Museum. With a sofa.
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Middle class was defined by having certain values and only a certain amount of money. But this new middle class seems to have absolutely no values and an unlimited amount of money.
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