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Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.
Fran Lebowitz
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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Marriage
Strong
Entitles
Women
Ceiling
Men
Ceilings
Steady
Kitchen
Protection
Paint
More quotes by Fran Lebowitz
Writers get exactly the right amount of fame: just enough to get a good table in a restaurant but not enough so that people are constantly interrupting you while you're eating dinner.
Fran Lebowitz
Will power is not telling anybody you quit smoking.
Fran Lebowitz
I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I'm lazier than most. I don't want to brag, but I'm the laziest person I have ever known.
Fran Lebowitz
My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
Fran Lebowitz
Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn't make up yourself - a wise move at any age, but most especially at seventeen, when you are in the greatest danger of coming to annoying conclusions.
Fran Lebowitz
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
Fran Lebowitz
I hate, simply, to work. I just hate to work, period. I am profoundly slothful. Practically inert.
Fran Lebowitz
New York was always more expensive than any other place in the United States, but you could live in New York - and by New York, I mean Manhattan. Brooklyn was the borough of grandparents. We didn't live well. We lived in these horrible places. But you could live in New York. And you didn't have to think about money every second.
Fran Lebowitz
It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them.
Fran Lebowitz
Breakfast cereals that come in the same colors as polyester leisure suits make oversleeping a virtue.
Fran Lebowitz
Because I was young, I had this long hair, and people used to try to tip me with joints.
Fran Lebowitz
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
Fran Lebowitz
You sit or stand in the subway, and you look around - I do, because I don't have a phone so I'm not playing a game - and you see people.
Fran Lebowitz
Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's own interest in the topic has waned.
Fran Lebowitz
Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
Fran Lebowitz
When we were young, we knew things. We knew basic history, even as it related to fashion. Now, when something reappears, an 18 year old has no clue that it's a revival. Despite the fact that they're almost always online they don't get references. I think that's part of why visual things are becoming so derivative.
Fran Lebowitz
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
Fran Lebowitz
This idea that people have to love and understand each other is absurd. It's not human nature.
Fran Lebowitz
It's much easier to write a solemn book than a funny book. It's harder to make people laugh than it is to make them cry. People are always on the verge of tears.
Fran Lebowitz
I just write when fear overtakes me.
Fran Lebowitz
