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Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Kitchen
Protection
Paint
Marriage
Strong
Entitles
Women
Ceiling
Men
Ceilings
Steady

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Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
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Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
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To me, O'Hara is the real Fitzgerald.
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The thing you love right away, don't do it, because that's the very thing that's going to be your addiction for the rest of your life.
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I'm such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don't need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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There's too much democracy in the culture, not enough in the society.
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A community is a butcher and a doctor, a minister, a town troublemaker. A community is not a bunch of people united by some grievance. That's just self-righteousness - incredibly dangerous and antidemocratic.
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I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.
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When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.
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Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.
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Think before you speak. Read before you think.
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When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't crash. I was just afraid it was going to circle O'Hare for the rest of my life.
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It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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I used to love to write. As a child I used to write all the time. I loved to write up until the second I got my first professional writing job. It turns out it's not that I hate to write. I hate, simply, to work.
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Japanese food is very pretty and undoubtedly a suitable cuisine in Japan, which is largely populated by people of below average size. Hostesses hell-bent on serving such food to occidentals would be well advised to supplement it with something more substantial and to keep in mind that almost everybody likes french fries.
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I drank my lifetime supply of alcohol and I took my lifetime supply of drugs between the ages of 15 and 19.
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The other day I read that last year 58 million tourists came to New York ... where a puny eight million people are trying to live. Unless they own a hotel chain, I don't think a single one of these eight million people are happy about this.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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