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Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Men
Ceilings
Steady
Kitchen
Protection
Paint
Marriage
Strong
Entitles
Women
Ceiling

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There's nothing like being old to be sure of everything.
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If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
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Democracy is an interesting, even laudable, notion and there is no question but that when compared to Communism, which is too dull, or Fascism, which is too exciting, it emerges as the most palatable form of government.
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I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.
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If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer -- not a book.
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All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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I, unfortunately, take the subway a lot. It's not my preference, but it is my lot in life.
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It's very important when making a friend to check and see if they have a private plane. People think a good personality trait in a friend is kindness or a sense of humor. No, in a friend a good personality trait is a Gulfstream.
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Luckily when you drive a cab there are two things: You don't have a boss in the cab with you, and you are not facing the people that you are making money from.
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Any artist who has that quality of timelessness has that quality because they tell the truth.
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I never would start writing before midnight and I would finish at, like, seven in the morning.
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Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be.
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Nothing lasts. So it's my belief, yes, I know a lot of the things that we liked didn't last, but maybe things we don't like, they're also not going to last. There has been progress in my lifetime. There are certainly things that are better than when I was young, and there are things that are worse. New York City, it's worse. There's no question.
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People who are well-known, famous people, I think, make very poor characters for fiction. They make good characters for gossip columns. But not for fiction.
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
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When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people with whom I share nothing except the right to trial by jury.
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I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use.
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When I was very little, say five or six, I became aware of the fact that people wrote books. Before that, I thought that God wrote books. I thought a book was a manifestation of nature, like a tree.
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
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