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Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
Men
Ceilings
Steady
Kitchen
Protection
Paint
Marriage
Strong
Entitles
Women
Ceiling

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I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.
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People care more about trends now than they do about style. They get so wrapped up in what's happening that they forget how to dress, and they never learn who they are because they never learn how to take care of anything.
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In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate each other, but violence based on that hatred is really uncommon here.
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Sleep is death without the responsibility.
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I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I'm lazier than most. I don't want to brag, but I'm the laziest person I have ever known.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
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[On the writers she admires:] I prefer dead writers, because I don't see them at parties.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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I hate, simply, to work. I just hate to work, period. I am profoundly slothful. Practically inert.
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When Toni Morrison said 'write the book you want to read,' she didn't mean everybody.
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Forcing people into a situation where they're supposed to adore each other is probably bad. But letting people get on and off the 6 train without stabbing each other, that's good.
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I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines.
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A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.
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I've never seen the Kardashians I'm not sure who they are. But I know a lot about them because it's impossible not to.
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I don't like to read nonfiction. To me, fact is something I can look up.
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A salad is not a meal, it is a style.
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...I believed passionately that Communists were a race of horned men who divided their time equally between the burning of Nancy Drew books and the devising of a plan of nuclear attack that would land the largest and most lethal bomb squarely upon the third-grade class of Thomas Jefferson School in Morristown, New Jersey.
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Writers get exactly the right amount of fame: just enough to get a good table in a restaurant but not enough so that people are constantly interrupting you while you're eating dinner.
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A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.
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