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I hate academic mysteries. As soon as I come across the word 'don' and it's not someone's first name, I close the book.

Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: October 27
Author
Humorist
Journalist
Orator
Writer
Morristown
NJ
Frances Ann Lebowitz
Robert Paine Cook
First
Name
Names
Word
Mysteries
Hate
Academic
Someone
Across
Firsts
Soon
Book
Mystery
Come
Close

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I never would start writing before midnight and I would finish at, like, seven in the morning.
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I'm such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don't need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself.
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New Yorkers, we've seen Donald Trump for, like, 30 years we know who he is. So he wasn't a surprise to me.
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Now the culture is made of old things, it's a collage. Art made out of art is not art. You're supposed to make art out of life.
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Most writers write too much. I have the exact opposite problem. I feel I could write almost anything in a paragraph. I have a natural ability to condense, and so I often think, Are you kidding me? Five thousand words? How am I gonna make 5,000 words out of that?
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There is nothing more mine than my writing, nothing I'm more proprietary about.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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Communism requires of its adherents that they arise early and participate in a strenuous round of calisthenics. To someone who wishes that cigarettes came already lit the thought of such exertion at an hour when decent people are just nodding off is thoroughly abhorrent.
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I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
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Writing pornography is deadly, nothing duller. I mean a toll-taker has a more exciting life than a pornographer.
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When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people with whom I share nothing except the right to trial by jury.
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Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
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China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It's a very bad idea.
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Breakfast cereals that come in the same colors as polyester leisure suits make oversleeping a virtue.
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I prefer dead writers because you don't run into them at parties.
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Until I was about 7, I thought books were just there, like trees. When I learned that people actually wrote them, I wanted to, too, because all children aspire to inhuman feats like flying. Most people grow up to realize they can't fly. Writers are people who don't grow up to realize they can't be God.
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Middle class was defined by having certain values and only a certain amount of money. But this new middle class seems to have absolutely no values and an unlimited amount of money.
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Abandon the search for Truth settle for a good fantasy
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People always say pop culture. As if we have some high culture to distinguish it from.
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Because I was young, I had this long hair, and people used to try to tip me with joints.
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